I’m sure you can remember your last phantom opera. Yes, the one you forgot as soon as you woke up. Why didn’t you write it down? What stopped you from recording its final strains with your morning breath and groggy voice? I’ll tell you what happened – you didn’t read this article yet. Oh yeah, and you forgot to hit record. Let’s make sure that never happens again, shall we?
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Ever wonder why we used to call elevators ‘dumbwaiters‘? It’s because they couldn’t hear the conversations of the mobsters who used them. Yep, if you aren’t listening to your surroundings and eavesdropping on conversations, you’re dumb!
Hush, hush, I would never call my readers dumb, ok big-ears? Smh, I can’t make this sound nice because I was told to mind my business. Sadly, people say the darnedest things so, if you don’t put up the radar, you’ll never notice.
Stories are things that happen to characters. Songwriters are storytellers. You’re a storyteller, I’m a storyteller, everybody gets a storyteller. So, since some people are straight-out CharacTers, with capitals C and T, drink from the fountain of their silliness and steal their souls.
Detective Dictaphone, Hit Record!
Walk into a situation where a man and a woman are fighting outside a bar. You can hear them screaming before the lady, I use that term loosely, comes stumbling toward you with her titty hanging out. Would you believe this happened to me?
You just have to take my word for it, though. That’s because I didn’t have my phone handy to record the event. Just like your sleepytime symphony, that jazzy event has passed into the used needles of nodding off history.
we all most of us come with a brain pre-installed that has memory functions built-in. Barring that, too late for a pun, you can use your smartphone. Unlike a dumbwaiter, we call them that because they listen. Since Titty of Drinker’s Past probably jiggled before I got my first smartphone, I’m excused. You’re not excused, though. Use Notes and Voice Memos or never witness real breasts again!
Ah, Forget It
As I previously alluded to, we face a social stigma. Strangely, perhaps like other bullshit taboos, we’re all aware of it put perpetuate it anyway. I’m talking about peeper shaming.
Don’t get me wrong, there’s a point that peeping goes too far. But, hear me out, what if someone recorded you in public? How would you feel? No lie, I’d probably want to nuke the photographer and I’m not the only one.
Now what if I told you that she was recording you because of how perfectly you fit the scene. Maybe that subtle age mark offers a point of sophistication which complements your porcelain cup. Maybe you’re ugly as fuck. Either way, when you record people it makes them uncomfortable.
Since you know this, you stay nice and leave your phone in your pocket. You didn’t listen to HexsPaPa and now you forgot your idea. Damn it, you! Y u no listen? Actually, there’s way out.
Later, while taking a dump and revisiting the day’s nearly sexual encounters, your idea about the old bitch drinking coffee springs back to mind. Eureka! And, since your filthy ass has your phone with you, of course, you write that shit down. The cream, as always, and like a milkshake-powered turd, rises to the top.
Aren’t you a fabulous winner?
I’m not much of a believer in Psychology. Ok, you test people and get results but it just isn’t scalable. People are always going to need help we can’t render. Even though Psychology is mostly garbage, in that sense, it has babies lying in the wet.
One such orphan is that of modeling. The idea says, ‘find someone bigger than you and mimic how they grew.’ Obviously, a million things prevent you from perfectly copying them but maybe a few pointers will help. That’s what this is all about here.
Songwriters hit record to make hit records. They hit record early and they hit record often. We all have the Undo hotkey memorized. Give yourself something to Undo by hitting record. Who knows, you might even make a hit record 🙂
Hexspa, slave name Michael Carrillo, believes he is a songwriting superhero. He has played in many Chicago-area bands and made videos and tutorials. Late at night, if you listen close, you can still hear him outside of rehearsal studios everywhere asking for a smoke. Join the Hexie Dose Newsletter for more blasphemy.