Mentoring Tips

We all wish to be picked up by mommy at some point.  Once the realities of her drinking habits met with unresolved daddy conflicts kick in, you learn self-efficacy.  That’s what you want, at least.  Sadly, we don’t become badasses overnight.  This leads us to search for mentoring so let me share with you my mentoring tips.

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Young Warrior Jedi

I never had a mentor.  Rather, I’ve never been under the tutelage of a single mentor for very long.  To put it another way, I’ve had many, many mentors and mentas.  Mentos?

My earliest memories involve being around lots of different people and, specifically, different men.  Hate to break it to you, Dad, but mom got around.  While this could’ve been disastrous, I think it worked out as per ‘taking a village’.

Y’see, no one is a master at everything.  To quote Rener Gracie, “Everyone is a white belt at something.”  If I need charisma training, he’s my mentoring guy.  On the other hand, I’d never ask him for mix notes on my latest club banger, not that I make club bangers but whatever.

With this muddled history in mind, when the opportunity popped up to become a mentor, I jumped at it.  I figured why not learn proper mentoring from people who specialize in the field?  Mentor Collective called and I answered.



I guess these people work with a variety of schools pairing up graduates and new blood.  When I attended the orientation webinar, there were several other Berklee Online people and a few other academic casualties.  We were off to a good start but, naturally, few things go as planned.

I was nervous before they assigned me my first mentee, name withheld.  Would I be good at mentoring?  I mean, they gave me good advice and told us about the end goal of self-efficacy but now it was on in real time.  Once they sent me the text that we were matched, I greeted him according to protocol.

And then nothing.  “Ok,” I said to myself, “I’m old, overexcited, and supposed to be a Real Big Mentor.  I’ll give it a few days then send an email.”  I did just that, and then?  

More nothing.  I think I sent him another email and he was all, “Sorry, bro, I’m super busy.  Yep, I’m taking a class.”  My neck recoiled my head in a feeling of ‘OK?’

Road To Hell

So much for grand intentions.  After not hearing from my so-called mentee for awhile, despite my best efforts, I let Mentor Collective know about it.  They said they’ll be in contact with him but, wouldn’t you know it, I haven’t heard anything.  Big fucking surprise. 

Oh sure, they sent me the standard automated texts and emails.  No shortage of satisfaction surveys with this organization.  Even though my mentorship might be stillborn, let me at least share with you what I learned in the webinar and experience.

Real quick, I don’t mean to bash these people.  It just hasn’t worked out for me so far.  I’m not about to beg to be mentoring someone.  I’m more of a ‘lead them to water’ kind of guy.

Mentoring Takeaway

Like I already mentioned, their primary aim is to build ‘self-efficacy’.

Self-efficacy is an individual’s belief in his or her innate ability to achieve goals.

No Mt. Everest of impossible dreams, right?  Well, maybe.  I remember, when I went through my Master Certificate of Music Production and Technology program, that I was nearly suicidal.  It wasn’t that I didn’t think I could make it, I was just fuckin’ overwhelmed. 

You can’t overstate the importance of the mental game of life.  Some say it’s the only game in town and that everything flows from the mind.  That being said, we need to learn and remember coping mechanisms, game play strategies, and more to be effective in daily life.  I guess, for mentoring, building self-efficacy really is at or near the Everest peak mindset.

Slide On Down

Hopefully this helped you in your mentoring journey.  I realize that I talked about myself a lot but maybe that’s best.  One of my mentors, who might deny the honor, taught me the most just by having coffee with me. 

When you go to a spiritual master, you’re not there for a meditation tutorial.  You go there to sponge up the vibe.  Being in love with someone, words get in the way.

I think that, with mentoring, the same principle applies.  If you’re ahead of someone, they can look at you and see that it’s possible.  Self-efficacy is then self-evident.  Maybe that’s all my mentee needed.  

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