Xenyx 802

Xenyx 802 Behringer Unboxing

Xenyx 802 Behringer Unboxing

Need a quick fix for your mixer kicks?  Want a really rowdy router for your rollin’ rhythm power?  But you need it small not tall and big?  Saving cash for your second kid?  Well, my friend, I’ve found you a champ in the Xenyx 802.  Read reviews here.


Signal to Noise

I’ve been using a Mackie VLZ3 for about the past six years.  A friend of mine we used to call Disease had one and it worked pretty good.  Then again I didn’t know him long enough to see what happened to it.  I probably would’ve found it dead before long.

Jacked Up

The Mackie perished on me.  Not all at once, mind you.  It was a slow, sticky, scratchy, and very drop-out-y kind of demise.  First it was channel one, then two.  Before you knew it they’d all ghosted like so many Alesis 3630s.

Dialing In

Needing a replacement, I had originally wanted a monitor controller.  “Perhaps a Crane Song Avocet,” I thought.  Realizing the humor in such an idea, I then considered a big knob.  It was clear prostitution wouldn’t be worth it.  It’s for that reason I gave the Xenyx 802 a call.

Behringer Blues

Back in the day, in my awesome band, we had a little Behringer mixer.  It was alright, I guess, and we shit on it like a commode.  The unspoken agreement we all had was that none of us really knew how to properly evaluate such a piece of equipment.  Regardless, Behringer ranked just below Mackie but ahead of Peavey (who came in last, consequently).

Minus Infinity

The microphone which I typically use to perform acoustic measurements, the Behringer ECM 8000, I reassigned to voice over duty.  Ya, it’s phasey due to “hearing everything” so you can’t trust it but it’s sturdy, at least.  It’s been immune to Mackieloidosis so far, which is confidence inspiring.  Besides, I needed an aux send to ram into the rear of this godforsaken mixcube I’ve been ranting about.  Basically, I bought this Xenyx 802 because I’m a maverick.


Finally, thanks for your support.  Do none of the following if you want me to disappear forever:

  1. Get uncomfortably close by pledging $3/mo. on Patreon
  2. Actually watch my videos to the end
  3. Tell people I exist and that they, “should totally get their album, man.”
  4. Give me 5.  Oh, don’t ask why.
  5. Clap your hands five times and scream HEXSPA IS THE BESS next time you take a dump.

See you next week probably at 4pm Monday PST-off time.  Join the newsletter and I’ll send you an email when I post.


Leave a Comment