Apartments Suck – Loud Neighbors
You can’t deny it. Apartments suck. Whether it’s inspections, apathetic landlords, or loud neighbors, you are guaranteed a bad time eventually. I’m not here to commiserate though. What I want to offer you is an action strategy that might help you get what you want. You see, I used to train in jiu jitsu. Specifically, I trained at the Gracie Academy. While it’s besides the point why I’m no longer there, they do have a cool process for dealing with
assholes bullies. This comes from their Gracie Bullyproof program. Let’s see how it applies to loud neighbors.
Tell On Your Loud Neighbors
Here’s the truth: I’ve been living in apartments my whole life. Even from the time I was a kid, my mom used to complain about ‘stomping’ and how apartments suck. Having been young at that time, it never really bothered me.
As time passed, however, I grew to appreciate silence more and more. Naturally, since you and I both know that’s a pipe dream for apartments, I’ve had to confront my disturbers. Unfortunately, that process never goes smoothly.
I’ve tried it all: notes, talking nice, complaining to the landlord, pounding on the walls/floor/ceiling. One of my old landladies, from New York of course, said, “Just bang on the wall.” That never seemed like a rational, human option but I have tried it.
What I want to suggest is start by telling your landlord. I know that many of you have feelings against snitching. Although this rule might apply to your high school crew’s hi-jinks, it’s all different when you’re alone.
The reason I suggest telling as your first step is because it’s non-confrontational and makes you look good. You aren’t creating any hostile standoffs, bad vibes, or explicit expectations. Plus you get to see if your administration does their job. If this fails then you still can take another step.
Talk To Your Loud Neighbors
I hate confrontation. You might be surprised to hear that considering how many times I’ve confronted people. Still, I prefer things to go smoothly.
In my most recent apartments suck scenario, my girlfriend and I already had to complain about these people several times. First it was incessant screaming – by the ‘man’ of the house – and that was resolved with step one.
Secondly, it was loud music. My girl went over there and kindly asked them to turn it down. That went surprisingly well. To their credit, they haven’t played loud music since.
This time it was about their kid. I guess he’s in some kind of rocker or jumper and it sounds like a horse. While I’m glad they have healthy offspring, their baby shouldn’t be my problem. Certainly not for hours on end!
So we left a note. It was a nice, respectful, typed note that we taped to their door describing the noise as being like a horse. Almost immediately, they returned it with hasty handwriting saying that they don’t own a horse.
Well, no shit. In this scenario the note didn’t work. Still, I advise you to calmly confront your adversary and try to reason with them. You will quickly find out whether they’re reasonable or not. If all else fails you still have one more option.
Tackle The Bastards
No matter how much apartments suck, I am not an advocate for violence. Having been in several fights, I can tell you that it’s not the best option. If your life is in danger then that’s different but that’s probably not at stake here.
Of course, suggesting to someone that they need to change can be met with incredible resistance. Your opponent may become hostile and threatening. It’s for this reason that we leave our most aggressive option for last.
You should always be able to handle yourself. That can mean bringing a friend, recording the interaction, or arming yourself with a legal option such as pepper spray. I’m not a lawyer, and this isn’t legal advise, but cover your ass.
Also, don’t make threats. If violence solves nothing then much less can get done by implying that it’s an option. It’s only an option if they attack and even then it can be legally dicey.
For instance, my neighbor, after I pounded on his door, came at me like he wanted to hit me. I just warned him that it’s not a wise choice. You need to know that this can happen.
So the third step is tackle. Of course we can’t tackle our neighbors outright. However, we can be very direct and commanding. Let them know, without hesitation or flinching, that this must stop now. If something is really bothering you, and nice won’t cut it, then it’s time to get nasty and stand up for yourself.
They may resort to insults, as happened in my case. He insulted my age and his perception of my economic status. I told him, “You can’t hurt my feelings.” That was true for me in this case.
If your feelings get hurt then still try to remain centered and focused. You’re here to firmly and directly communicate one solitary idea: STOP. Forget their defenses and make yourself heard.
Now when I say to forget their defenses, I still encourage you to be empathetic. What I mean is to ignore their efforts to undermine your integrity and self-respect. They will try to do it, believe me.
What you need to remember is that you are a sensitive human being – and so are they (probably). You deserve to be heard – especially if someone is causing you legitimate grievance. I understand that when apartments suck, it can cause fear, anxiety, and anguish. Persevere and make yourself heard.
Now you have an outline for how to handle it when loud neighbors make your apartment suck. A guy, rock, over at the Audio Expert Forum said, “Cooler heads prevail.” That’s probably true but sometimes you have to dig deep and stick up for yourself.
I want you guys, and gals, to feel empowered when dealing with inflexible dicks. Going over there and telling them directly to stop wasn’t my first choice. When they revealed their disrespect by mocking our note, I knew something needed to be done. While I can’t predict the future, it’s been quiet since.
So Who Are You
Hey guys, I’m Hexspa. I make music and music-making tutorials. Apparently I also complain a lot when my apartments suck. Check out my YouTube channel and subscribe to my newsletter if you like what you see.
I don’t always vlog and talk about my personal life. If you like this format then let me know. Thanks for reading!